Fireballs of Fury
-Sa'din EagleSoul

Fireballs of fury emanate from my body scorching everything in range,

 fires of frustration incinerate all self control plunging my soul into pure rage,

 another situation and again I'm helpless, as yet again in my life story a new page is turned,

 yet the same story is told, once again I'm unable to control any aspect of what is eating me alive,

 lashing out and exploding with pure unsheathed anger, an emotional sword strikes at all those around me,

 an internal struggle to stabalize the grotesquely sick imbalance of emotions and self control commences,

 though it seems in heart enshrouded with pain.

 Fireballs of fury emanate from my body scorching everything in range,

 the struggle within to conceal the dangerous weapon, to ground it out.. to hold it on a leash,

 the fury within burning all attempts at rebel, engulfing my moral being and fueling the flames,

 overcome with the overpowering heat all I can do is withdraw and watch the destruction,

 the damage is done, the scars left and the flames die down, anguish, anxiety and depression take hold,

 grasping at my innards as if they were manifested into tar and ingested, unwilling to relent and depart,

 another fight, another struggle, an emotional war takes place in my heart,

 A losing battle so it seems.

 Fireballs of depressing fury emanate from within my body, flowing freely through my entire being,

 Fatigue from the feelings of helplessness to change that which invokes this disgusting metamorphosis,

 envelopes me and takes me on to sleep, one would think it bliss,

 yet even in sleep I am plagued by the battles roaring on deep within the bowels of my mind and soul

 wishing only that I had what it took to extinguish the flames and once again make myself whole, wishing I

 could break the monotonous chains of repetitive dispare, to remove myself and those for whom I care, from

 that which makes these emotions rise up and flare,

 like the stars visible in the night, the hope that I may yet win this fight,

 is all that keeps me from ceasing to care, blind desire to leave behind this hideous trend,

 wishing I had an internal self will that wouldn't bend, wishing I could discipline myself and not relent,

 to the addictions, desires, and habbits that inflict upon me a disease that does not end,

 wanting to rise above and beyond that which holds me down, and emerge with a life of my own,

 living with and caring for those I consider a friend,

 beating down and defeating the beasts that cause my life to transcend,

 into emotional chaos and fireballs of fury, will this struggle ever end?